As I write you today, I am considering the effects of meditation, moreover, the sweet and the unsavory. Anyone who has achieved a bliss state in their meditation knows what I am talking about. As we embrace the peace in our breath, bring our life to a gentle subtlety, we are aware that sensations come and go. What we do with those sensations will speak to our understanding of a meditative practice, because what we experience in meditation, we know occurs in our life.
Today is my 70th day in a row of 40Day Ceremony. There have been many other forms of Ceremony performed as well, Tree of Life, Personal exploration and Sound Ceremonies to name a few. Today, I am aware that in 40Days alone, close to 170 individual Ceremonial calls have been made amounting to over 180 hours of support. I am literally buzzing. So when others ask me why wake every day at 3am in support of others? The answer is simple and short, it’s because the process works.
Still, as healers and guides we all know we must pace ourselves. So as I write you, I am reflecting on how I am also conscious that in being of service to others I could be overworking and thus a double-edged sword presents itself. While my personal reservoir is being filled by the gentle ahas of others, I also know there will come a time for my own self-reflection, my own down time. I remain aware that the current list of 40Day participants completes in mid May so every day I find new ways of looking after myself. It helps to know that ebb and flow is a necessary part of life sustains and inspires me.
The incredible thing about inspiration is how it’s revealed. Ego promises me many things. Inspiration calmly states what can be, especially when I follow my personal truth. What’s fascinating about this current trend in 40Day Ceremonies, is that from August to October of last year, save for a few classes taught here in Costa Rica and a few personal ceremonies, no other ceremonies were being performed. November saw one Tree class and one 40Days. The reason was obvious, I was not ready for any more than that and so the phone wasn’t ringing. I knew I had finally entered into a state of ebb or restoration. I new that time in reflection had to be honoured. Like all forms of recovery and growth, the genesis began much earlier, in the start of 2018. It began when I realized there was an upgraded path ahead of me.
I can tell you the process of deep self-reflection and transformation isn’t always pretty. Even today there are friendships lovingly placed on hold as the readjusting and emerging new energies learn to express themselves. Here’s the key though, even though my life was going very well in Jan. 2018, it became abundantly clear to me that in order to walk the upgraded path now before me, I would need to upgrade to be ready to walk it.
Sister Stanislaus Kennedy writes in her book The Garden of the Soul that, “Acknowledging our own weakness is an essential quality for those of us who work to provide a service to people that have been hurt or rejected. In situations where we are unable to be welcoming because we are just too tired or busy, it is better that we acknowledge and accept that. People who have been repeatedly rejected see very clearly if there is a gap between what we say and what we do, between our ideals and our reality and if they sense our hypocrisy they’ll feel rejected and devalued once again.”
For me, I knew I had to look after myself. I knew what I had to do and though my life was going well and it would have been easier to keep my previous status quo, I chose to remove myself from being of service to others. This was a slow progression, as I also knew that there were promises that were to be honoured. I just didn’t take on any new ones.
I then removed myself in personal relationships and professionally. I stayed my path until I awoke on the morning of January 1st of this year. After returning to Costa Rica the night before, I awoke as I normally do in Grace, Morning Prayer, and the speaking of my Decrees. Then centered, refreshed recharged and Inspired, I took a long deep breath and in my exhale I stated to Great Spirit and Universe that I was again ready to be of service. Within a week the emails and texts starting pouring in and now months later there is no sign of letting up. For example, in just one day last week, I was on a call at 3am my time with Europe, right into another a 5am with Canada, then two back to back calls with the U.S., rushed to teach a 2 hour meditation class in in Ojochal, then returned home for a 3 hour Tree of Life call. While this was an exceptional day to be sure, my previous 2 days and the one after were very similar. In fact every day since mid January has been exceptional. The upgraded vision shared with me a year ago has come to be.
I trust you are reading into what I am saying. I am talking about our ability to walk in our personal and true spiritual path, of embracing our ebbs as opportunities not as setbacks. For when we walk consciously in our truth and embrace it, people will recognize it, even when we are in a state of transformation. Especially when we honour ourselves in Transformation.
As people who provide support for others, no matter what exalted name we call ourselves, we must also honour our own fragilities, embrace the natural ebb and flow of energy, nature and our own breath. As healers, seers and guides, it is true that we will reach plateau points in life, times of integration, these are times when we embrace our personal truth and learn to express it. No matter where you are, if you are in Ebb, embrace it, if you feel Divinely guided in Flow, share it. Live both fully.
Like in meditation, I know that even though things are running smoothly now, there is another upgrade on my horizon. For me it is like awaiting an abyss, a level of not knowing. I do know that Spirit has never let me down, a vision will be shared soon enough, so I await this next transformation tiptoeing towards me and with it new gifts of understanding and wisdom. For now though, it is good to be back.
It’s actually really good to be back.
We live in amazing times.