Light will always find us.


I have enjoyed many Christmas' on my own, especially after experiencing the first one. I recognize how, to many, it may seem odd. Whatever perceived hardships I initially endured, the benefits have outweighed any perceived loss. Being alone offered me, without compromise, a wondrous truth about how to celebrate love and my life on my own. Which is fascinating because I am sure that was not my initial thoughts.

I concede that by most people’s observations, my life is different than the norm. Whether I live it accurately or with problems, my life has been full of doing things my way. It always has been that way. So it was no surprise to me when I learned that, as an Aries, I come to this earthly plane with a mission, an opportunity to share a great Piscean knowing without being distracted. It also means that to live my life fully, I must learn to find the middle ground in relationships. I must embrace my Libra life. Yet, there I was sitting alone on Christmas.

I also believe that in order to love someone truly you must be able to love yourself fully. In order to do that, longing for another or another place seemed to be counter productive. Still I found it to be an important part of the process. It was an open door unlocked by a simple question. “Why Me?”

As it is Christmas, it may help to know that, while I was baptized, I was raised non denominational. My parents believed I must be allowed to decide what I believe in and yes I’m still exploring. So as a child, my earliest musing of Christmas was focused on presents. I was quite honestly dreaming for months on what I would receive. Isn’t it funny how many years later my presents would change to presence and thus the point of this story.

Finding opportunity in a pit of “why me?” seemed very optimistic. It is what happened though. On a day of peace, of love and Divine Union, I chose to revisit what the gift of Christmas was to me.  I sat quietly, free of the distractions of others or gift comparisons. While the rest of the world was busy and was able to explore my own God gifts, how I could receive and how of would share. In my solitary meditation, I explored what is important in life.

Here are some of the things that were revealed. That whether atheist or not, mutual love and truth solve every single problem. Being present with someone, listening and caring is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give. Being vulnerable is empowering, and with nothing, nothing can be taken from me. It also showed me how much it encouraged me to give. I mean really give, not things, rather to share my life with people and welcome theirs. To rake a yard, shovel a driveway, clean a pool, mow a lawn for people who can’t. This is nothing new, right? They seem like good Christian values, no? I also learned that in order to be a good Christian you must be a good Jew. The light of Christ exists within all of us and Jesus would have learned this through his Jewish Mother, Mary.  So I also fell in Love with a religion, listened to them, heard their teachings. Then I revisited the celebration of Diwali’s light over darkness. It turns out there is a whole world of people loving and celebrating. Turns out I was never alone. 

I now celebrate Christmas, the day, as a celebration of Love. The revelry occurs if I am alone, with a loved one, loved ones or friends. I choose to be present at Christmas with those I celebrate with. I also invite you to consider experiencing a Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali or any event throughout the year on your own. Find you, Love you, witness the celebration of life and then see how you are a wondrous gift to us all. Then you can remember that the light within us will always find us because it never left.